A month of Cross-Cultural training has taught us many things
but the thing that sticks out the most is that we cannot do this. This training has made us feel like this:
We have no idea how to communicate on a heart level with the
Shawi or Peruvian people in Yurimaguas.
Even though Jennifer speaks Spanish, communicating at that level is
something different, and the rest of the family doesn’t speak any Spanish.
We have no idea how to move our family to another
hemisphere. We have struggled to move
them to North Carolina temporarily.
Henry asks when we can go home.
For that matter, he still asks to move back to the house we moved out of
10 months ago that was ¼ mile down the road from our current house. Lucy is struggling with missing friends and
family at home. They have also both
experienced intestinal issues here which is not common for them and we’re
wondering how much is due to all the changes in their lives. These are all
things that are not going to get any easier, only harder.
We have no idea how to maintain our marriage throughout this
who process. We’ve talked about it in
class but we recognize it will be a challenge.
We’re both struggling emotionally with different things. We love our children – but they are always
with us – and this is likely to continue for some time as we leave family and
our supply of babysitters. It is hard to
find time to be alone together and emotional energy to connect.
We have no idea how to live in a city. We are country people. We like our space and our privacy. We enjoy our quiet road that we can run and
walk on and our acreage we can play on without interruption. We are still in the country during training,
but we live in an apartment complex and are with great people all the time and
it is exhausting. Our children are
making wonderful friends and enjoy having 24 hour a day playmates, but it is
hard to find quality family time. How
much more difficult will this be in a city where we found little green space or
recreational options?
We have no idea how to engage in spiritual warfare – and
they assure us it is coming. Not just at
us but at our children as well. We have
no idea how to keep our children safe. Likely we won’t succeed and they’ll end
up with parasites and possibly even malaria and who knows what else.
We have learned how incapable we are. Yet we must go. We can’t not go. As much as we long for God to call us to
Goshen, to family, friends, safety, and what we know, He has not. As hard as this is and is going to be, He is
using it for His glory and purpose. He
is doing a work in us and we have faith that He’ll use us to continue His work
in Yurimaguas because He has called us there.
We have also learned the joy in being incapable. Where we are unable, God is able. Where we are weak, He is strong. When we surrender, He is mighty. We are learning to rely on and trust Him for everything
because we cannot do any of this. One
does not have to be called into missions for this, but He is using this calling
in us to humble us in a new way and to draw us closer to Him. For that we are very thankful.
There is no way that this should work. It is not efficient
for someone to enter another culture, learn the language, and present the
gospel. Why would God use this method to spread his love? Why would God use us when we are so incapable? So ill equipped? We voiced this concern to a
facilitator here and he made things clear when he said, “that proves God’s
existence, if He can use a weak fumbling idiot like me to spread the gospel
that proves how great and powerful He is.” Our ultimate goal is NOT for people
to look at our lives and say “wow, they are good people” our goal is for people
to look at our lives and say, “wow, God is a great God” After a month here we
feel completely beaten down, but that is good. Now we can truly say: I delight
in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For
when I am weak, then I am strong.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in
weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For
when I am weak, then I am strong." 2
Corinthians 12:9-10
~ Josh and Jennifer
