Recently, Alberto, a Shawi pastor we work with and a friend of ours called to see if we had room for he and his family to stay with us for a night or two while they were in town. This was not an unusual request on his part, he and his family have stayed with us many times before. Two years ago when we lived in a village for a short time, we stayed in his in-laws house. Ever since then, if we're available, they stay with us when they come to town. He and Josh are good friends and they have 3 children about the same ages as ours and the kids have always enjoyed playing together.
When they first began to stay with us, his wife and children were very timid and unsure of our ways. As time has gone on, they've grown quite comfortable here. While we do enjoy them visiting, there are still several cultural differences that sometimes are hard for my neat and tidy personality to handle. For example, Shawi do not eat the skin of grapes. They peel them with their teeth and spit the peel on the ground. Same with apples. In the village, no big deal. In my house, kinda disgusting. Eating only in the kitchen is a rule for my children, but a foreign concept to them. Needless to say, when they leave, we find fruit peels on the floor, mixed in with the toys, and even behind the bed.
Toys are another challenge. They aren't used to our toys and enjoy playing with them when they're here. I'm glad they enjoy playing, but putting one thing away before you get out another is also a foreign concept (although my kids aren't great at that one either!) Needless to say, after one night, the house is a mess. After 2, well, it required Lucy and I to take deep breaths this last time.
But after they left, I stood back and examined the condition of my home through a different lens. I was grateful that they are comfortable staying here in spite of our differences. Not only have they gotten accustomed to our strange way of showering (they even enjoy a hot shower now when they're here!) and taking out the trash (Alberto loves to help meet the trash man when he's here), but they've become comfortable in my home, and there is a real beauty in that for me.
You see, in the beginning, they were such timid guests. But now they're comfortable and it's like family is visiting. (Although they still do not like sitting at the table to eat.) Since the whole family was in town last time, I thought they might want to eat something special as a treat for dinner. I asked them if they wanted to order rotisserie chicken (a local favorite) or get fresh fish from the night market and fix for dinner. They chose fresh fish. Josh wasn't able to be home that evening (and he does our fish buying) but they were willing to do the shopping and help with the cooking (because Josh does that too and I still don't know how to clean fish!). So, we spend the evening in the kitchen together. Them teaching me to clean and prepare fish, me teaching them how to light the stove and use the sink! Our evening was full of laughter and my heart was full of joy. You see, even though we've lived here over 4 years now, only Maggie is a big fan of fish (my fault because I'm not either so I don't fix it!). But my kids put smiles on their faces and sat down to a dinner of Shawi fish soup (some kind of fish with whiskers I'd never seen before boiled in water with a bit of salt and cilantro). We all laughed as we made jokes about eating the eyeballs (a delicacy to some) and how little meat was left on their bones as compared to ours. My kids not only enjoyed the fellowship but decided they liked the meal as well.
So as Lucy and I began to pick up the house the morning after they left, our hearts were full - full of love for our friends and gratitude for friendships that transcend cultural differences.
