Can't Sleep

What is God up to?

Disclaimer: This was written as a criticism of my self and no one else. The amazing thing about the word of God is that it has the ability to challenge different people to different things. I struggled with self-centered independent living. He opened my eyes to God centered God dependent living. 

Sometime ago I began to take a hard look at my life. Many questions came out of that. What is my purpose? Do I really want to follow God? What does it look like to be a disciple of Christ in the 21^st century? I have always had a fairly easy life. I have never needed for anything, but was completely self-reliant. The truth is in our culture we are taught self-reliance. I was taught that if you want or need something to go earn it. This is not a bad thing but when I began to take a hard look at scripture this is somewhat different than what is laid before us in the Word. When Jesus called His disciples they left everything behind for Him. When was the last time I left anything behind for Him? He made such bold statements as “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” and  "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Honestly when is the last time I had to deny myself in order to follow Him? Because the truth is to follow, I must deny myself, I must get rid of my self-reliance. Then he said “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” This may well be the most challenging verse in the Bible. Am I willing to lose my life? Am I willing to sacrifice everything for Him and his service? “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” I know this sounds radical and reckless, but it is the word of God. How can I sit back and ignore it any longer? How can I continue to gain and have the whole world only to lose my soul?

As we began to pray through these questions as a family God began to change our hearts. No longer do we desire to acquire more stuff, toys, and wealth. In fact, through Him, we have grown to despise it. Because it has no place in the calling on our lives. No longer do we desire our safety and self-reliance, but instead God has given us a desire to be Christ-centered even if it jeopardizes our safety. Honestly we are not completely there yet, I don’t know that I can say I am willing to give up my life for my brother. But my prayer is that God gives me that kind of love. I desperately need that kind of love in order to impact the world for Christ so every day I pray for the Lord to increase my love for fellow men.

It is no surprise that as we prayed through this God began to challenge us and call us. We had to make a decision. Are we in? What a crazy prayer it is when we finally prayed God we are in for whatever you want us to do. That has led us to some strange places in the last 6 months. Mosques, homeless shelters, food banks, and cold streets, sharing the gospel wherever he leads. Now he has lead us to something even more. He has called us to the mission field.

In May we took a trip to Orlando, Florida to meet with an organization called Missionary Ventures International (MVI). We knew little about the organization but somehow the Lord led us to an orientation where we learned about them and their values. It is amazing to see what God is doing through MVI and their staff and there was no doubt in our minds that the Lord is calling us to be a part of the organization.

They have presented us with an opportunity to move to Peru and work in the Amazon jungle with the Shawi people. We are unsure what this entails and are therefore taking an exploratory trip June 11-19. Jennifer and I are going without the kids and Jennifer is 6 months pregnant.

This is where we need your help. The truth is we cannot do this on our own.  We are in desperate need for believers to intercede on our behalf. We need men and women of Christ willing to go into their prayer closets and get down on their knees and pray to the creator of the universe on our behalf. Please do this for us.  This list of things we need help with seems endless, strength, courage, boldness, discernment, understanding, clarity, timing, and finances. Please pray for our children during this time of uncertainty and change. Ask the Lord to bless our marriage that we may grow closer and make decisions in one accord.

We will also need people to partner with us financially to support the work we will be doing so please pray that God begins to put those people in place.

In Matthew 6 it says “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.” “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things, will be given to you as well.” That is the desire of our family, not to worry about our lives but instead to see His kingdom advanced, to see the lost led to Christ, to see lives transformed, and to see Him glorified in all the earth.
                                                                                                                                             ~ Josh

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one how calls you is faithful, and he will do it. Brothers and sisters, pray for us.” I Thessalonians 5:23-25

 

The Cloud Moves

In early January we met with a pastor of or church to discuss the calling God had placed on our lives. In his wisdom he asked good questions like; where will you go? What will you do? How will you serve? And how long? We did not have any answers to these questions. I felt complete inadequate. So I made a list of all the skills and strengths that we have as a family, for myself, Jennifer, and even Lucy. I began praying over the list and asked God to “go before us.” In Exodus Moses asked the same question of God as the children of Israel wondered around the wilderness.  

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” Exodus 33:15

That was the prayer. How can we go anywhere or do anything unless you go with us?

In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted. So the cloud of the Lord was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the Israelites during all their travels. Exodus 40:36-38

I asked God to be my cloud. And unless I see the cloud go I will stay put.

We had contacted a couple of mission agencies just to see what opportunities were out there. One day while praying over the list the phone rang. It was Missionary Ventures. They said we have this urgent need in Peru. Over the next couple of days we talked to them and found out more about the need there and I began to realize that the needs in Peru were exactly the same as the list I made of our skills. Crazy. The cloud was moving.

Again I went back to the list and began to pray over it, asking God to go before us. Then He revealed to me, he had already gone before us. Before I ever knew it. He had been preparing us for years! My mechanical and problem solving skills. Jennifer’s knowledge of nutrition and maternal care. Lucy’s innate desire to love children. Wow!

It is amazing to think that we serve a God who can prepare us for a task without us even knowing. What has God prepared you for?

~Josh