We do not lose hope

I sat in church all alone thinking about the difficulties of life here. Not just problems like cold showers, no toilet seats and having parasites but more the emotional strain.  My family was in church too, but just not sitting with me, we couldn’t find seats together. The church was full because today was the church anniversary. A day full of special songs, guest preachers, and celebration. I didn’t feel like celebrating. All I could think about was 2 Corinthians chapter 4. In July of 2015 we lived in North Carolina for a month for cross-cultural training. One of the teachers made us memorize the first 12 verses of this chapter and it was suddenly flooding back into my brain. “Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose hope.” This is so true. We serve in a ministry that without God is hopeless. Two rows in front of me sat Jennifer with Henry and two other children from the Hogar. Their mother and father are both in prison. The boy just turned four and the first three years of his life he lived with his mother in prison. To this day he is more comfortable in prison than out. We know this because Jennifer takes them twice a month to visit their mom. Their mom will be in prison for two more years. The girl is eight and has problems with authority and trust issues. 

Lucy is sitting in the back of the church with the Shawi women. On one side is her new best friend, a 14-year old with a baby who ran away from home. We have written about her in the past and if you have not read Jennifer’s post, Pray for Esther, please do. On the other side of her is a family member of a man that just had his leg amputated. He had a tumor the size of a volleyball. He is recuperating but will someday return to his village. It is a 12-hour boat ride from Yurimaguas. His future is uncertain as the only thing he has done in his life is work in his fields to provide food for his family. Now, without the leg, that becomes next to impossible.

Maggie is in the front of the church with one of Susan’s girls. She was abandoned at birth and lived her first 11 years at the Hogar before being adopted by Susan. She is sweet and loves Maggie but struggles in school and has abandonment issues.

Finally, someone comes to sit by me. It is one of Susan’s boys. He was born with a cleft pallet and almost died of malnutrition. Now at 14 he is healthy but talks with a lisp and has a scar on his face from the surgeries. He also has a scar in his heart as he struggles with anger. He is mad at the world and who would blame him.

On stage the administrator at the Hogar is singing a special.  She has a beautiful voice but her life is full of pain as well. She has a host of personal issues that many are out of her control. Despite this she pours out her heart to God trusting in Him above all else.

Every day new people walk into the Hogar and into our lives. Every single person has a story and most are of brokenness. Broken homes. Broken relationships. Broken bodies. Broken lives. Right now we have a lot of court cases here at the Hogar. A family of six siblings under 12 removed from their home. A 13-year old is here because her mom was beating her. Another 13-year old that is pregnant. We have a 9 month old with a cleft pallet due to have surgery next month and his mom has abandoned him twice. And the list goes on…

The Hogar Materno is not a children’s home or an orphanage. It was designed to help on a temporary basis. We have 5 dedicated staff members that cook and clean, three full-time and two part-time. Here mothers, high risk pregnant women and malnourished children can get a clean bed and three healthy meals a day.  We are not capable of having a family of 6 children here. We don’t have the staff to care for them. 

It is easy to loose hope here. Everyday my heart is broken. Everywhere I look I see injustice and pain. I often cry.

The child we brought back from the jungle two weeks ago has fluid on the brain. His mom has refused the surgery and they are back in their village. I am perplexed.

Again I run 2 Corinthians 4 through my head. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” To a non Christian this is nonsense, but to us it makes perfect sense. Our hope is not in this life. This life is temporary and will soon end for every one of us. So to face adversity, difficulties and trials is not devastating to us. In fact, it is expected. Since our hope is not in this life when we are hard pressed we are not crushed, and when perplexed we are not in despair. Our hope is in the eternal and NOTHING can take that away from us. And that is our message here at the Hogar. Everyday we have the opportunity to share this hope, the greatest gift of all time.

I am not alone in church. God is there too, confirming that, even though He has called us to something so difficult, He provides the strength and hope we need to get through the day.

“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.”