Beyond The Comfort Zone

With the danger of showing my complete lack of pop culture, I will post this anyway. Recently at some training I was sharing some of my story. I was sharing how much I am just an ordinary person that for some reason God has called to something much bigger than myself. In many ways I feel like the wrong person for the task but I am willing to answer the call. As I shared someone suggested I read The Hobbit. So I check it out from the library and on the front cover it says, “Now a major motion picture.” I had no idea. After some research I found out that there are actually three movies, and they were quite popular.

So I read the book. It was ok if you like that sort of thing and I have a feeling that most people reading this have already read the book or seen the movie so you have your own opinion. And this is not a review just an observation. Bilbo, an ordinary hobbit, not looking for adventure, finds himself on a crazy journey. He feels he doesn’t belong. He is not adventurous. He is not talented. He is not magical. Yet for some reason he is needed. As the journey unfolds he often finds himself in difficult situations. Hard pressed on every side yet not crushed. How? Fate? Luck? And over and over in the situation he does the same thing, he dreams of being home in his hobbit hole where all is safe and sound.

Are we not in many ways the same? God wants us to live beyond ourselves, beyond our comfort. It is at that point that we shine and He shines even more. We often don’t feel like the right person for the adventure or calling. We rationalize, “that is for someone else,” Or “that is not my job,” Or “I am not called to that.” But the truth is it is only in such situations that we grow. That we see God come through in amazing ways and are strengthened in our faith. 

The adventures are good. They push us and challenge us. Yet we dread them. We withdrawal. And when we are hard pressed on every side we just want to go back to the hobbit hole. This is me. Whenever the rubber hits the road I am the first person to say, “why did I do this, I wish I was back where everything is comfortable.” I have said that already on this journey multiple times. But I am reminded that without being without getting out of my comfort zone, nothing ever changes.

Overall I was not overly impressed with the book. But the last paragraph is the best. Bilbo and Gandalf are reflecting on their journey. I will paraphrase Gandalf’s words: do you think this journey was about you, do you think that it was luck? After all you are just a small hobbit in a big world. The same is true for us. This journey we call life is not about us. After all we are just small people in a big world. This begs the questions: why are you here? What is your purpose?

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. – 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

~Josh

Woefully Ill Equipped

A month of Cross-Cultural training has taught us many things but the thing that sticks out the most is that we cannot do this. This training has made us feel like this:

We have no idea how to communicate on a heart level with the Shawi or Peruvian people in Yurimaguas.  Even though Jennifer speaks Spanish, communicating at that level is something different, and the rest of the family doesn’t speak any Spanish.

We have no idea how to move our family to another hemisphere.  We have struggled to move them to North Carolina temporarily.  Henry asks when we can go home.  For that matter, he still asks to move back to the house we moved out of 10 months ago that was ¼ mile down the road from our current house.  Lucy is struggling with missing friends and family at home.  They have also both experienced intestinal issues here which is not common for them and we’re wondering how much is due to all the changes in their lives. These are all things that are not going to get any easier, only harder.

We have no idea how to maintain our marriage throughout this who process.  We’ve talked about it in class but we recognize it will be a challenge.  We’re both struggling emotionally with different things.  We love our children – but they are always with us – and this is likely to continue for some time as we leave family and our supply of babysitters.  It is hard to find time to be alone together and emotional energy to connect. 

We have no idea how to live in a city.  We are country people.  We like our space and our privacy.  We enjoy our quiet road that we can run and walk on and our acreage we can play on without interruption.  We are still in the country during training, but we live in an apartment complex and are with great people all the time and it is exhausting.  Our children are making wonderful friends and enjoy having 24 hour a day playmates, but it is hard to find quality family time.  How much more difficult will this be in a city where we found little green space or recreational options?

We have no idea how to engage in spiritual warfare – and they assure us it is coming.  Not just at us but at our children as well.  We have no idea how to keep our children safe. Likely we won’t succeed and they’ll end up with parasites and possibly even malaria and who knows what else.

We have learned how incapable we are.  Yet we must go.  We can’t not go.  As much as we long for God to call us to Goshen, to family, friends, safety, and what we know, He has not.  As hard as this is and is going to be, He is using it for His glory and purpose.  He is doing a work in us and we have faith that He’ll use us to continue His work in Yurimaguas because He has called us there.  

We have also learned the joy in being incapable.  Where we are unable, God is able.  Where we are weak, He is strong.  When we surrender, He is mighty.  We are learning to rely on and trust Him for everything because we cannot do any of this.  One does not have to be called into missions for this, but He is using this calling in us to humble us in a new way and to draw us closer to Him.  For that we are very thankful.

There is no way that this should work. It is not efficient for someone to enter another culture, learn the language, and present the gospel. Why would God use this method to spread his love? Why would God use us when we are so incapable? So ill equipped? We voiced this concern to a facilitator here and he made things clear when he said, “that proves God’s existence, if He can use a weak fumbling idiot like me to spread the gospel that proves how great and powerful He is.” Our ultimate goal is NOT for people to look at our lives and say “wow, they are good people” our goal is for people to look at our lives and say, “wow, God is a great God” After a month here we feel completely beaten down, but that is good. Now we can truly say: I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."                                                                                         2 Corinthians 12:9-10

                                                                                                                             ~ Josh and Jennifer